Quotes

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
--Groucho Marx

"Money doesn't make you happy.
I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million."
--Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Sometimes I do get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter."
--Ansel Adams

"I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers."
--Gandhi

"A friend is someone who doesn't believe the gossip he hears about
you even if he knows it's true."
--Anonymous

"It takes an enemy and a friend, working together, to hurt you to the
heart. The one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you."
--Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca, automotive business executive.

"War is an invention of the human mind. The human mind can invent peace."
--Norman Cousins. (1912-1990)

"The only safe way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend."
--unknown author.

"A diplomat is one who can tell a man he's open-minded when he means
he has a hole in his head."
--author unknown.

"What is morality in any given time or place? It is what the majority
then and there happen to like, and immorality is what they dislike."
--Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947)
 

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone,
but they've always worked for me."
-- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson 1937 - 2005


"Rock won't eliminate your problems. But it will let you sort of dance all over them"
-- Pete Townshend


"I'd rather be dead than singing 'SATISFACTION' when I'm 45"
-- Mick Jagger


"To me the most important thing about any musician is,
can you walk in a bar and get a free drink with a song, you know?"
-- Keith Richards


"On my gravestone I want it to say, 'I told you I was sick"
-- Tom Waits


"I don't think I'm getting more cynical,
I've just got more evidence to back up my cynicism."
-- Frank Zappa (1982)


"If the power is for sale, sell your mother to buy it. You can always buy her back again."
-- 19th-century Ashanti proverb


"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness."
-- author unknown.


"When I was young, I used to think that money was the most important
thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is."
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)


"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it."
-- Lou Holz


"Can America overcome the fatal arrogance of power?"
-- J. William Fulbright (1905-1995) Arkansas senator.


"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."
-- Herbert Hoover (1874-1964)


"I know that when things don't go well, they like to blame the
president, and that is one of the things presidents are paid for."
-- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)


"You hear politics until you wish that both parties were smothered in their own gas."
-- Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924), 28th president of the United States


"A politician is a statesman who approaches every question with an open mouth."
-- Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965) American statesman


"When you learn not to want things so badly, life comes to you."
-- Jessica Lange


"A leader is a dealer in hope."
-- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)


"I thank God for all the freedom we have in this country. I cherish it
- even the right to burn the flag. But we also have the right to bear
arms, and if you burn my flag - I'll shoot you!"
-- Johnny Cash
 

"Between men and women there is no friendship possible.
There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish author


"The lead car is absolutely, truly unique,
except for the one behind it,
which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."
-- Murray Walker, Grand Prix Announcer


"Champaign for my real friends,
and Real Pain for my Sham Friends."
-- Author Unknown


"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."
-- Mark Twain


"If you own a rug, then you own too much."
-- Jack Kerowak


"Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much."
-- John Wayne (1907-1979), advice on acting


"He who makes a beast of himself
gets rid of the pain of being a man."
-- Dr. Johnson


"Some people never go crazy.
What truly horrible lives they must live."
-- Charles Bukowski


"I don't know. I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference"
-- Jack Kerouac


"I got my lips around a bottle, I got my foot on the throttle."
-- Tom Waits


"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy."
-- Tom Waits


"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
- Woody Allen


"A day without a buzz is a day that never was."
- Unknown


"Be who you are and say what you feel cause people who mind don't matter,
and people who matter don't mind."
-- Dr. Seuss. 1904-1991


"The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus."
-- Bruce Lee 1940-1973


"Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it...
that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear."
-- Dale Carnegie, 1888-1955, American Author, Trainer


"Desire is the key to motivation,
but it's the determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal,
a commitment to excellence that will enable you to attain the success you seek."
-- Mario Andretti 1940-, Italian-born American Auto Racer


"If you think that you have everything under control, you aren't driving
fast enough."
-- Mario Andretti


"The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand,
and the determination that whether we win or lose,
we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand."
-- Vince Lombardi, 1913-1970, American Football Coach


"The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.
The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore."
-- Dale Carnegie, 1888-1955, American Author, Trainer


"If I ever get caught in a thunderstorm on the golf course, I hold up a 1 iron.
Not even God can hit a 1 iron!"
-- Lee Trevino


"Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion"
-- Democritus of Abdera


"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right"
-- Henry Ford


"Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
-- H. J. Browne


"FORTES FORTUNA ADIUVAT. (Fortune favors the bold.)"
-- Terence (2cd century Roman playwright), BC 185-18159


"I have spent half my life trying to get away from journalism, but I am
still mired in it--a low trade and a habit worse than heroin, a strange
seedy world full of misfits and drunkards and failures."
 -- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson


"A cap of good acid costs five dollars and for that you can hear
the Universal Symphony with God singing solo and the Holy Ghost on drums."
-- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson


"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life."
-- Muhammad Ali, 1942-, American Boxer


"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
-- Helen Keller, 1880-1968


"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human
history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
-- Mitch Ratliffe


"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the
things we did not do that is inconsolable."
-- Sydney J. Harris


"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
-- Carl Jung, 1875-1961, Swiss Psychiatrist


"If my son wants to be a pimp when he grows up, that's fine with me.
I hope he's a good one and enjoys it and doesn't get caught.
I'll support him in this. But if he wants to be a network administrator,
he's out of the house and not part of my family."
-- Steve Wozniak


"Never give in -- never, never, never, never."
-- Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, British Statesman, Prime Minister


"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
-- Steven Wright


"Above all to thine own self be true"
--William Shakespeare, 1564-1616


"It is inhumane, in my opinion,
to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line
behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity."
-- Dave Barry


"To realize a dream, you must have a dream to realize."
-- Mark Victor Hansen, American Motivational Speaker, Author


"If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself."
-- Fyodor Dostoevski, 1821-1881, Russian Novelist


"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."
-- Margaret Thatcher, 1925-, British Stateswoman, Prime Minister (1979-90)


"Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it.
Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the
obstacles that will invariably come your way."
-- Les Brown, 1945-, American Speaker, Author, Trainer, Motivator Lecturer


"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make
you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803-1882, American Poet, Essayist


"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - it goes on."
-- Robert Frost, 1875-1963, American Poet


"Egotist: A person more interested in himself than in me."
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911


"Of all the lessons in life that I've learned the hard way,
the ones involving frontal nudity and hot bacon grease seem
to be the most enduring."
-- Randy B


"It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money.
And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting
there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money."
-- Jack Handey


"If you drop your keys in a river of molten lava.
kiss them good-bye, because man... there gone."
-- Jack Handey


"Alcohol...The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
-- Homer Simpson


Marge: "Homer, the plant called and said if your not
at work tomorrow, don't bother coming in on Monday."
Homer: "WoooHooo, 4 day weekend!"


Television Announcer: "We interrupt this program
with a special news bulletin."
Homer: "Wooo... they found my car keys!"


"I will never let school get in the way of my education."
-- Mark Twain


"To err is human, but it's against company policy."
-- Author Unknown


"Fucking Pigs.
We had 2 bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline,
5 sheets of high powered blotter acid,
a salt shaker half full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of
multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers.
Also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum,
a case of beer, a pint of raw ether,
and 2 dozen amyls. Not that we needed all
that for the trip, but once you get locked
into a serious drug collection, the tendency
is to push it as far as you can.
The only thing that really worried me was the ether.
There's nothing in the world more helpless and
irresponsible and depraved than a man
in the depths of an ether binge,
and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."
-- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson


Elwood Blues: "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas,
half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses."
Jake Blues: "Hit it!"


"It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant,
it's got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks.
It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas.
What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?"
-- Elwood Blues